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Hi.

This is ClawReviews. My last name has ‘Claw’ and I review movies; the naming convention for this site is a stroke of creative genius.

#ClawReviews Movie critics from someone who isn’t a movie critic
Cats (2019)
Dec 26

Dec 26 Cats (2019)

Alexander Clawson
1 Claw, Stupid

Two hours of deeply unsettling CGI without a plot line.

Star Wars: Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Dec 21

Dec 21 Star Wars: Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker (2019)

Alexander Clawson
3 Claws, Action, Sci-Fi

No spoilers, I promise

6 Underground (2019)
Dec 17

Dec 17 6 Underground (2019)

Alexander Clawson
2 Claws, Action, Boring, Stupid

A Bay-hem explosion-fest with only 1/6th the quirk it needed to feel fun. It’s okay Michael, we miss Optimus Prime too

Last Christmas (2019)
Dec 4

Dec 4 Last Christmas (2019)

Alexander Clawson
5 Claws, Comedy, Drama

Despite watching all eight seasons GOT where Emilia Clarke spoke with her native English accent, it was still weird to hear her do it for a movie

Frozen II (2019)
Nov 28

Nov 28 Frozen II (2019)

Alexander Clawson
3 Claws, Kids Movie, Musical, Fantasy

It seems like putting a non-fortress castle right on the water would be a rather unsafe idea. I guess it helps that the kingdom of Arrendelle has a Snow Queen as their ruling monarch.

The Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018)
Nov 19

Nov 19 The Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018)

Alexander Clawson
3 Claws, Kids Movie

This movie perfectly captured my favorite part of “The Nutcracker” ballet: clowns that can voluntarily dismember themselves.

Klaus (2019)
Nov 18

Nov 18 Klaus (2019)

Alexander Clawson
4 Claws, Kids Movie, Fantasy

A holiday movie that I’ll happily add to my seasonal repertoire

Charlie’s Angels (2019)
Nov 17

Nov 17 Charlie’s Angels (2019)

Alexander Clawson
3 Claws, Action, Comedy

A gender-flipped Bond flick without the uncomfortable sex scenes.

The Book of Mormon (2011)
Nov 12

Nov 12 The Book of Mormon (2011)

Alexander Clawson
5 Claws, Comedy, Musical

Offensively hilarious and fun for the whole family! (Assuming the whole family is 18+)

The Current War (2019)
Nov 2

Nov 2 The Current War (2019)

Alexander Clawson
4 Claws, Dramatic Biopic, Period Piece

The original format war

Nymphomaniac: Volumes I & II (2013)
Oct 14

Oct 14 Nymphomaniac: Volumes I & II (2013)

Alexander Clawson
1 Claw, Boring, Stupid

I would rather teach sex-ed to my boss than watch these two movies ever again.

Tau (2018)
Oct 13

Oct 13 Tau (2018)

Alexander Clawson
2 Claws, Boring, Sci-Fi

A plausibly fallible AI is a welcome addition to the pantheon of software overlord lore.

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